courage. when i was younger..i had the courage to do all things possible..i was valedictorian of my sixth grade graduation class..honor roll student..band member..chorus member..the popular kid that had a bad ass mouth..i was on top of the world..or so i thought..until one day..my life flashed before my eyes..and my whole world came crumbling down in a matter of seconds..i became everything i wasnt..a year and a half later i became a statistic..i was in the same boat with 1/4 of children growing up in the world...i became a rape victim..but i became a rape victim because of my ex boyfriend and his best friend....first tragedy..but not the last.. that isnt the end of my story..but its definately at the beginning..that was when i first lost who i was..i lost the courage to become anything or amound to anything in my mind..i lost the courage to stand up for what i believed in..my rape had me so scared i didnt even confess to my mother until i was grown..i lost the courage when they told me..if you tell..ill kill you...the same thing these young girls that are molested and raped are told..this is not the begininng..this is not the end... courage...the definition of courage..a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger or pain without showing fear...did you know that was the definition before i encorportated it into this? i actually didnt know and im a writer..courage within ourselves is ambivalent if we dont actually recognize it..i have the courage..i just lost it at a early stage in my life..ive come so far..ive cried so many tears..my war scars are finally healing..courage is finally bein bestowed in my body like it was a vitamin. now i thrive on having the courage to approach any woman i want..i have the courage to make my decisions the best way i know how to..i have the courage to finally speak out and say ENOUGH! i have the courage to scream so loud, finally the walls break down..i have the courage...do you? i sat back in the passenger seat last night with a friend..and while she vented about her recent ex...i began to cry..because she finally had the courage to stand up for herself..and because we both had the courage to confess...we both had the courage to say enough and walked away..my loose ends are officially tied..no more communications..you cant reach me if you tried..i cried last night..tears burned my cheeks..but i wasnt sad..i was rejoiceful..because i finally realized what ive been tellin myself all along...you were not alone.... i call upon God because he keeps me sane..he kept me sane the night i spend holding myself naked crying...he kept me sane the nights ive laid alone wanting a female next to me...he kept me sane when you turned your back on me.. i was too like that mother that was holding her childs hand while she was on the ledge.. i too was that mother that walked away.. i too was that one that sparked that blunt.. and let it take me far away..just anywhere but here.. im finally healing from years of pain..i smile everyday the biggest smile because i know who i am inside and cant noone take that away from me..thank you all who hurt me...and i wish not one hair on your body is harmed... humbled.