clueless.

i dont understand how one month ago i had a woman that wanted to give me everything..but because i was still stuck on the past with a woman that wants to only give me pieces of her i ran..she eventually got tired of chasin after me and settled for a woman that was able to meet her every needs..includin lovin her from a closer distance than myself..now im tryin to figure out how come when ive wanted to let love inside and take the quotes that my friends have so eageredly wanted to share with me about love..make them my own..and concrete them with stone..she has yet to arrive in my life..instead im comin across woman that dont meet the qualifications i have set up for myself..because at the end of the day any woman isnt going to fit the script of what i want..i need not settle for less just because i feel lonely inside. im tired of nights where i wanna go out and all i have to call upon is the ex that only wants to give me pieces of her..im tired of anytime i just wanna talk i have to call my twin and sometimes im not mentally there because even though shes my btch...she isnt the woman that i want to secretly be with..im tired of the fact that everytime i look around on DL everyone is happily in a relationship and im stuck not havin a damn thing..but yet when i do get so close..something happens and im further away than i was before..why is it that even though my mom has been thru the same situations that i have with pains and tribulations she not only comes out on top but she has a husband that loves her unconditionally..she has finally found love..when will it be my time? when will i find my wife? i use to have it made back iin the day..i had women that were so eagered to be my girl..never had a dull moment with them..but when it came down to the actually relationship it ended quicker than it started..and then once i got with my recent ex i found out why..it was because i thought i loved them and in fact i didnt..i didnt know what true love was until i met her..im tired of being alone..when will it be my time to find love? i have a heart full..and a mind eagered to learn..im ready to finally love again..even if it means ill get hurt again..