lies.

i would be lyin if i said i didnt miss you..i would be lyin if i said i didnt miss those times we shared..the nights where i would be there in your arms until the sun rose and we awoke..i would be lyin if i didnt feel some type of way to the end result of our departures from each others lifes..i would be lyin...end of story..

i felt like a POW when you were around..a prisoner not of necessarily war..but of love..i felt like i didnt know who i was inside if you left abruptedly..i felt like if you left..i would be empty inside..i invested on a love that i knew deep down inside was sufficed by the abstracts of ones thinkin...i knew that all odds were against me..i knew you were against me..

i became a addict of your love..i felt like an addict..beggin you to stay when i knew you and i wanted out equally..addicted to the pain and lust all at the same time..addicted to the abuse i was gettin myself into..addicted to the struggle of keepin you around...addicted to the highs i experienced better than a substance..and in the same breath..addicted to the lows one feels after abuse..

i became a toy you played with in hopes of keepin your attention span usefull..i became an object that was pushed and shoved just for mediocre amusement..i became your vice of distraught. i became everything you wanted out of a muse..i became your VHS and lowkey you wanted a DVD..

i belittled myself and made myself out to be the bad guy..i abused myself in the process because i figured the only reason why i was hurt behind your actions was because i deserved it..i did my dirt in my past and i was willin to pay for it..even if it meant bein at your hands of mercy..

i let go of who i was inside..and didnt know i lost myself..until you were out the picture..