I WANT..

i think im ready for something that i thought i wasnt ready for a while back. i was pushin all the females away that i knew wanted to be with me at the time because i didnt think i was good enough to be with them. i felt that i couldnt offer them anything that they needed emotionally because i wasnt emotionally connected with myself. here i am sitting here thinking, where do i go from here. in a matter of short time i could lose the love that i have always wanted because i am not what she wants in the long run. but like i said, as im sitting here thinking, i realized that i am in fact ready for a relationship now. the problem comes in where will i find such a woman who is on my level to the utmost that i need her to be at. where will i find this companion who lives within reach because im tired of the long distance relationships that i have gotten myself into before. i want someone who is at distance who i will be able to see on weekends because during the week is my dedication to my CAREER. someone who i can spend the night with and just be there with them for the company. not for the sex. if only God has created this being, and if he did, where is she? and how come i havent found her yet.....